Day 4- FORGIVING PEOPLE


Where do we get the idea that if WE don't forgive people, THEY suffer?
It's nuts!

Let's say:
a) You are my boss and you give me the sack, or
b) You are my girl and you run off with my best friend.

So I say, "I'll NEVER forgive you!"
Who suffers?

NOT YOU!
I get the knot in my stomach.
I lose the sleep.
You are probably out partying!

While I resent you, I SUFFER!
Meanwhile I tell myself, "I'm right!"
But being "RIGHT" doesn't guarantee happiness.

Here's the point ...
To forgive someone, you don't have to AGREE with what they did.
You just have to want your life to work.

You don't forgive people for THEIR benefit.
You do it for YOUR benefit.

So this is your mission for the next 24 hours:

Think of someone that has hurt you.
Just today, practise letting go of all resentment toward them.

Gather all your ANGRY thoughts -
those "I am right and they are wrong" thoughts, and let them go.

You may like to use your creative imagination ...
.. put all that resentment into an imaginary balloon, and let it float away.

Throughout the day, repeat the process.
You will feel better.

Forgiving people may be tough, but is possible.
You forgive people for YOUR benefit.
It makes YOU happier.

my blog will undergo some reconstruction...as well as the owner ^_^ will stop blogging for a while...

Salam wbt. and dear frenz...
Sorry for little late of overstatement.
greater happiness course tertunda utk 2 minggu lamanya kerana hari raya dan full lecture class n assgnment. berikut adalah sambungannya...
Sedikit yg boleh dikongsikan dr buku motivasi tulisan Andrew Matthews.

Day 3 of Greater Happiness Course...(◦'⌣'◦)
KICK THE WORRY HABIT

Most of us WORRY.
Some people will even tell you that you SHOULD worry!
But worrying is worse than USELESS!

Firstly, it attracts misfortune.
Secondly, it is bad for your health!

So what should you do about worry?
POSTPONE it!

TAKE ACTION first - and postpone worry indefinitely.
That's what effective people do.

Here is your mission for the next 24 hours:
Whenever you want to worry, ask yourself, "What is the problem RIGHT NOW?"

Guess what you'll find ...
Unless you are in a life threatening situation, you DON'T have a problem.

Look at your life.
Has there ever been a situation you didn't survive?
There hasn't!

You can HANDLE the present.
It is just the FUTURE that gives you trouble!
So your mission is to focus on the present.

Your mind will want to drift into the future.
Your mind will want to ask questions like: "What happens if ...?"

Drag it back to the PRESENT.

Tell yourself:
"If there is SOMETHING I can do now, I will do it."
"If there is NOTHING I can do right now, I refuse to worry."

Make this your motto:
"I take whatever action I can now - and I postpone worry!"
"I deal with problems MOMENT BY MOMENT."

*****
Andrew Matthews

Dari lubuk hati yg paling dalam, saya memohon maaf zahir dan batin... dr semua : umi abah, along, adik-adik, sanak saudara sebelah umi juga sebelah abah, cikgu2, lecturer2, dokter2, staf2 hospital yg mengenali, sahabat2 jauh dan dekat, rumate, housemate...dan semua yg mengenali diri ini...secara lansung atau tidak lansung...
semoga Allah menerima ibadah Ramadhan kita... dan memberi kita kemenangan... Aamiin!
Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

Setiap orang adalah unik. Setiap orang ada kelebihan dan kekekurangannya yang tertentu. Tidak ada manusia yang sempurna kecuali Rasululluh s.a.w kerana baginda telah ditentukan maksum.

Selebihnya tidak terkecuali daripada sifat lemah, buruk, hina, sakit san bermacam-macam perkara lagi. Anda tidak perlu berasa susah hati lantaran gemuk, tidak menarik, terlalu rendah malah cacat.

Biar bagaimana keadaan anda, anda tetap unik dan tanpa anda alam ini tidak sempurna.

Memang Allah menjadikan manusia pelbagai rupa dan gaya. Disitulah berkuasanya Allah. Dia berhak dan mampu berbuat apa saja mengikut kehendak-Nya.

Kita memang tidak ada pilihan untuk mempersoal itu ini, mempertikai itu ini. Anda mungkin berasa rendah hati melihat kekurangan-kekurangan yang ada pada diri anda.

Nah, anggap ia satu kelebihan. Jika anda sangka anda buruk, ia satu kelebihan yang tiada pada orang cantik. Anda sangka kecantikan sentiasa membawa untung? Tidak, tidak selalunya begitu.

Kadang-kadang kecantikan memusnahkan. Setelah anda dikenali sebagai cantik, ketakutan anda terhadap keburukan lebih besar daripada jika anda semulajadinya buruk. Orang cantik fobia menjadi buruk.

Setiap kedutan di wajah akan dirawat dan setiap kedutan begitu menyusahkan dirinya. Saat menjadi buruk pasti tiba, bagaimanakah perasan si cantik meghadapi hari tua mereka? Bukankah rasa susah yang tiada kesudahan?

Kadang-kadang seekor semut diberikan sayap oleh Allah supaya dia boleh terbang dan menerjah api.

Samalah halnya, kadang-kadang seseorang manusia itu diberikan kecantikan supaya dengan kecantikan itu dia boleh berbuat sebanyak-banyak mungkar untuk diberikan balasan setimpal di Akhirat.

Tontonlah filem atau drama-drama di TV. Kisah hidup orang cantik selalunya penuh duri. Jika anda buruk setidak-tidaknya anda bebas rasa riak dan takbur.

Penghuni neraka kebanyakkannya wanita sebagaimana disabdakan Rasullah s.a.w wanita itu tentu yang cantik tapi gagal memahami untuk apa kecantikan itu diberikan Allah kepadanya.

Dan wanita itu tidak terkecuali juga yang buruk sebab dia berterus-terusan saja mempertikaikan kerja Tuhan.

Siapakah wanita penghuni syurga itu, barangkali yang cantik dan dia sentiasa faham kecantikan itu ukuran manusia . Cantik pada pandangan Allah adalah ketaatannya terhadap semua perintah dan larangan Allah.

Barangkali juga yang buruk tapi dia faham Allah tidak memandang rupa paras tapi apa yang ada di dalam hatinya. Wahai orang cantik, orang buruk, orang rendah, orang cacat, semuanya itu hanyalah ukuran manusia dan ukuran manuisa selalunya sasar.

Hargai diri anda sebab kewujudan anda mambuktikan kekuasaan Allah!

SUPPORT YOURSELF!

Some people constantly CRITICISE themselves.
They say things like:
"I'm FAT."
"I'm BORING.""Watch me SCREW THIS UP!"


There are two problems with criticizing yourself:

Firstly:
You BECOME what you think about.
So when you criticize your own performance, it gets worse!

Secondly:
Criticizing yourself IRRITATES other people.
Eventually, even your friends will want to smack you in the mouth!
Self criticism is not humility, it's stupidity.

So this is your job for the next 24 hours:
Notice what you say about yourself.

Starting today, say ONLY GOOD THINGS about you!
If you have nothing good to say, say nothing!

And the result?
1. You'll feel better.
2. You won't irritate other people.
3. Your performance will improve.

Just today, support yourself!
You may choose to make it a lifelong habit!

~Andrew Matthews~

Today is the first of 7 days of simple, life changing exercises.

Let's get started ...
LOOK FOR GOOD THINGS!

Take a look at the HAPPIEST people you know
and you will notice something.
They haven't had the EASIEST lives!
Happy people have usually suffered and struggled MORE than most.
But in the process, they have learned to look for GOOD THINGS in life.
And have you noticed this ...
When we look for good things in situations - or people - we FIND them.When we look for bad things, we FIND them.
So it's not changing your situation that makes you happier.
It's changing your THINKING!


If you go looking for faults in your job or your mother or your wife,
you will find plenty.

Some people spend their life looking for faults -
and then they tell you, "I'm just being REALISTIC!"
It is not realistic.It is NEGATIVE!

Happy people continually ask themselves,
"What is good about this situation?"

EXAMPLE:
You are stuck in traffic. You ask yourself, "What's GOOD about it?"
* You have time to listen to your favorite music.
* You can plan your day.
* It's better than walking!
EXAMPLE:
You are short of money. You ask, "What's GOOD about having no cash?"
* You learn to appreciate things that money can't buy.
* You become more determined to succeed.
* You find out who your friends are!

You might say, "That's nuts! It's kidding myself."Not so!

Looking for good things is a key to happiness.

So your mission for the next 24 hours?
In every situation, look for GOOD THINGS.

It may be hard at first, but it becomes automatic.
As "looking for positives" becomes a habit,
you will become happier and happier.

~Andrew Matthews~

Ramadhan yg mulia datang menjengah jendela kehidupan sekali lagi. Alhamdulillah, Allah masih beri peluang pada kita untuk bertemu Ramadhan kali ini... May we be given with endless rewards and blessings in this holy month and get the best night of all nights, the Lailatul Qadar. Amin.